Hey, It's Me

Who hasn't said that? I certainly have. Of course it's me, who else would it be? But it leads me to the whole issue of telephone etiquette or, more precisely, the lack thereof in today's world. "Hey, it's me," is fine, I suppose, when one is calling one's spouse or, perhaps, a child or parent (unless, like my secretary, you have 14 (!) siblings). But I notice the annoying tendency of people whom I don't know all that well calling the house and simply starting to talk, while I search the memory files to see if their voice matches anything remotely connected to a name. It's not right. It puts the listener in the position of having to interrupt and query the caller as to his or her identity.

The flip side of this is the person who doesn't listen at all when I answer the phone. At work I will answer "J- T- speaking," if I don't recognize the number or name on the caller ID (a mixed blessing I'll discuss later; and DON'T get me started on people who 'screen' their calls, grrrrrr...). After identifying myself, I'll often be queried as to whether I am someone else. I will respond no, I'm the person I identified myself as when I answered the phone. How hard is that to understand? It's a specific form of the disastrously prevalent condition that has plagued mankind since we began grunting: we don't really listen to each other all that often. I mean, I specifically state my name upon answering the phone, and the person listening asks if I'm someone else. This hasn't happened once or twice, it has happened many times. Sometimes the farce continues, and the caller asks if this is a particular office. I answer that it is not. They question me, wanting to make sure. Could I be lying? Is it a plot to keep them from finding the office they need? I respond, again, that it is not the office they want.

How often do we not believe what we hear? How often does this carry over into other things - our lives, our loves? How often do we wait, fidgeting, for the other blowhard to finish - for the love of God, finish! - so that we can finally begin talking and explain everything to everyone? It's hard to listen sometimes.